Be Happy
by pekunoble
Summary: Just the way i think things should've happened :)
1. Chapter 1

Hi everybody! I'm back!

I've been working on this story for a while now, I didn't want to publish until it was finished but I'm stuck in the last chapter so I decided to start this year publishing to force me to finally finish haha. Thank you as always to my lovely editor.

Insert Usual Disclaimers here. I'll start with a little chapter and I hope you like it and review :)

"Forget me and be happy… Please."

"I couldn't… Not ever."

"You should… and you must… I am nothing."

He tried to leave, but Anna stopped him, grabbing his arm firmly. He paused for a moment, thinking before deciding to turn and face her. If he was breaking her heart, the least he could do was give her a chance to defend herself.

"I know you don't want to do this."

"It doesn't matter what I want."

"What about what I want?"

"Anna… I can't… I just can't!"

His answer silenced her. She knew he was right, but still couldn't accept it. She let her hand travel down to his hand and stood there watching their hands together. She felt his eyes on her and she looked up to see him. And what she saw there, in his eyes, was nothing but love, the purest, kindest love she had ever known. That just made her angry. He was ready to stop fighting again. He wouldn't fight for her, and what was worse, he wouldn't fight for himself.

"Mr Bates… if you… if you leave, you have to know that you can't come back. If you have decided to give up on us, then that is it. "

"I… I know"

"Promise me… Please!"

"I've made many mistakes in my life, but the worst one was making promises to you that I couldn't keep… so, no… I'm done making promises… Please don't ask me to."

She could feel the tears fighting to leave her eyes, but she wouldn't grant him that, not just yet. She would wait until he was gone. She took her free hand and softly touched his cheek. He closed his eyes.

"Leave."

And he did.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two years, but still that conversation was fresh in his memory. He could hear every word, see every look and feel every touch. He kept replaying that moment again and again in the train, trying to convince himself he was doing the right thing. He was finally a free man. He knew he had no right coming back, and he didn't expected Anna to take him back, but now that he was free, he had to let her make an informed choice. He was always the one to make choices for them without asking her, and he wanted to change that. He wanted to change every one of his mistakes. He had stopped drinking, had finally gotten divorced from Vera and now the only thing he needed was Anna's forgiveness. If he couldn't have her, he at least needed to be forgiven.

Stepping out of the train, he began walking with a new found confidence. He had decided he had made the right choice. When he reached the first class car, he saw a familiar figure. It was Lady Mary.

"Oh! Mr Bates, no one told me you were coming!"

"They didn't know milady."

"Are you coming to the house? We could give you a lift."

"I… I suppose I am. Thank you."

"May I ask… If nobody knows… then, why are you back? Do you want to get your post back?"

"Not really… you see… I've come to see Anna."

"Oh… I'm afraid you won't find her in the house. She is getting married next week."

Married… she was getting married? He had being standing so tall and in that moment his shoulders fell. Thank god they were standing next to a bench and he sat, otherwise, he would've fallen flat to the floor.

"I gather you didn't know then?"

"No… I… I didn't… She's getting married?"

"What did you expect?"

Mr. Bates looked at her with amazement.

"Don't give me that look. I know what happened. You told her to find happiness with someone else. She just listened to you"

"I… I know… I don't know what I was expecting."

"Why are you here now?"

"I'm a free man milady. I am divorced now."

"…And you were hoping she would run back into your arms?"

"No… it's not that. I just needed to tell her… I need to tell her immediately… to let her know… Where is she now?"

"At the cottage she will be living in."

"Who is he?"

"Want to guess? - It's Molesley."

"Molesley? Oh God please… I need to talk to her. Can you take me to her?"

"Will you try to stop her?"

"No… I just need to let her know… and see her one last time."

"I will take you to her, but, just because I know she won't be happy with him; not because I think she'll be better off with you."

"I… Thank you."


	3. Chapter 3

When they arrived at the cottage, he was relieved that it wasn't the same one his Lordship had offered to them. This one was closer to Crawley House than to Downton Abbey. Lady Mary asked to enter by herself first. She wanted to make sure that bringing him to her was the right choice.

When she opened the door, Anna was surprised to see Lady Mary. She knew she would attend her wedding, but wasn't expecting her.

"M'Lady! What a surprise. Please come in." Anna was a little embarrassed. The little cottage wasn't even close to being ready for the move in. She couldn't get herself to get it ready and was hoping her mother would help her when se arrived later in the week.

They sat in the little living room and Mary decided to go straight to the point.

"Anna are you sure?"

She didn't have to ask, she knew what Mary was talking about. "I guess it's a little too late for that question."

"It's never late to prevent a mistake, and it will be a mistake because you don't love him. Do you?"

"Does it matter? … I loved once and look where I am now."

"If you love someone else, you shouldn't lie to Mr Molesley… just think about it. If you could choose, who would you choose?"

"It doesn't matter because the man I chose…" She had to stop talking, the tears fighting for release. "He made me dream of a new life beyond service. Before him, I never imagined I could have that. I want a family milady. Is that bad?"

"… If he was here, would you take him back?"

"I… No… I don't know. But it doesn't matter does it? We will never know now."

"Anna, I hope you can forgive me for what I am about to do… but, I care for you. I think you know that. If you decide to get married,I will be there. I just need you to be sure."

"What do you mean?"

"Just… wait here."

Lady Mary stood up and left the house leaving Anna with her confusion. Soon enough, she heard the door open again. She couldn't believe her eyes. He was there, standing in front of her. They slowly walk towards each other, not saying a word. When they were close enough, she reached to touch his cheek and he closed his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**It wrote this along time ago with itunes on shuffle, so add here to the usual disclaimer that i stole from a lot of songs that i don't even remember now, see if you can spot them :)**

**Thank you for your follows, favorites and reviews! it means the world to me! :)**

* * *

"It is you!"

"Anna."

The sound of his voice brought here back to reality. She quickly took her hand away from him and took a step backwards. He opened his eyes then…

"What are you doing here? I though I told you…"

"But, as I remember, I never made a promise."

"You know that I'm… just in a few days…"

"I know, Lady Mary told me."

"So, why are you here then?"

"Because I've got nothing to hide anymore. I've had time to think of my mistakes and I'm trying to mend them. I never talked to you. I kept you in the dark and that was wrong. Please, can we sit down? I need to tell you everything."

She silently guided him to the sofa where they sat on opposite sides, far from each other.

"I love you Anna. I always have."

"No… Just stop! Why are you opening up a healing wound again?

"That's not my intention… but, you have to know the facts before you…. make a decision. I'm a free man, Anna. Going back to Vera was awful, but that gave me the chance to find proof that… she had… been unfaithful to me. I discovered it more than a year ago, and now I'm finally divorced."

"If you knew for so long, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come back then?"

"If I had, then Vera wouldn't have let it rest. She would have found a way. I did come back, though. I came, stayed for a few days and then pretended that you didn't want me anymore. She thought she had won. She knows my happiness is with you, and that's all she ever wanted - to make me miserable"

"So,… it was you… I thought I saw you a long time ago."

"Yes it was me. I knew you used to come to the village on Wednesdays… and I so longed for a glimpse of you."

She stood up, trying to find something to do or else she would run into his arms. She wasn't sure that was what she wanted, even if she had waited for this moment for two years.

"It's not fair you know? It's not fair for you to say those things to me… You know you've got the power to make me weak inside."

He couldn't help but smile. He was feeling a little more relaxed. He knew there was still a lot more to be said, but this was improvement.

"Do you remember the day we met? It was the day the Titanic sunk, and yet you gave me a smile that I could never forget."

She turned to face him, and his relaxed expression made her feel warm again. It was as if nothing had happened. But he had to know how hard it had been.

"Forget me and be happy. Please… that's what you said… and I tried, I really tried to go on like I never knew you, but you were everywhere, every room in that house reminded me of you… that's why I needed to get out, that's why I accepted…"

"I won't ask you to come back to me. I won't even try to stop your wedding, but just think about it. Is this enough reason to start a marriage? Believe me, I know a thing or two about bad decisions and I'd hate to think I've driven you to this one."

"You are right… and I hate you a little bit for it."

"Do you really?", he said with a cheeky smile that made her heart beat faster. After a moment, she spoke again.

"You can't just expect me to run to you if I do decide to… break things off with him."

"I know what you are thinking… Who am I to tell you that I would never let you down if I already did, that I'll always catch you when you fall when I already failed, that no one else could love you half as much as I do when once that love wasn't enough."

He had just voiced all her fears and so she gave him a sad smile. He stood up and walked towards her, slowly waiting for her to stop him, but she never did. When he was close to her, but still not daring to touch her, he spoke again.

"I can't pretend I don't want to be all those things for you Anna, but this time I'm ready. This time I'm free. In the two years we spent together, you managed to bring joy to my life again, just by standing next to me. You saw the best there was in me when nobody else did, not even myself. And even as I threw everything away, I'm so grateful for each day you gave me… I wouldn't dare to ask anymore from you… but if you ask me to, if you want it, I'll give everything to you. I promise."

"I thought you were done making promises."

"I am done making promises I can't keep, and this one is not one of them. It is more than a promise."

"Is this…?" She couldn't finish the sentence. "I don't want to ask. The last time I said these words, things didn't work out for me."

"No, this is not a proposal. When I ask, you will now what I am asking."

"Why aren't you asking now?"

"Would you say yes?"

"No."

"That's why I won't ask right now. Whenever you are ready, I will be right here."

She couldn't help it anymore and wrapped her arms tightly around his middle, trying to find out if all that once was could still be there. He slowly put his own arms around her shoulders, keeping her close to him when she spoke again.

"You have no idea how good it feels seeing you again, seeing your smile back."

"I wish I could say the same. I wish I could see you smile again; a true smile in your face would be the greatest of gifts."

"I… just give me some time alright? it is just that I… I wouldn't bear to lose you again."

"If you give me another chance… I know I don't have a right to ask, but if you…"

"Tomorrow, I'll either continue as if this had never happened or you might find me in the little park that… well, you know which one."

"I'll be there and no matter what you decide, I will accept it, if it means you'll be happy… that's all I want, for you to be happy."

They stood there in silence, just holding each other for a few minutes. He was feeling brave and couldn't help himself anymore. He began pouring kisses in her hair, her temple, and her cheeks. He stopped at her mouth, lips almost touching, waiting for permission. She didn't move and when she spoke, she did it almost brushing his lips.

"Not yet, not here."

"But if you… this could be our last chance."

"That is the price you'll have to pay."

He smiled at her answer. What else could he do? He then pressed a little kiss onto her forehead and stepped back, breaking their embrace to hold both her hands in his.

"I better be going now and leave you to think."

Without leaving his hand, she started walking towards the door. She opened it slightly and before he exited he stood in front of her again, pressing his forehead to hers.

"I love you Anna Smith. I just needed to say it again in case I don't have another chance."

"Thank you… for talking to me. That's all I ever wanted."

"No… Thank you, for listening. It is more than I deserve."

He stepped back and softly touched her cheek and gave her the best of his smiles before he left.


	5. Chapter 5

When he got outside, Lady Mary was still there.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes Milady. Thank you. I said what I had to say."

"Will she… Are you and her…?"

"She hasn't decided yet."

"So,… you'll have to wait then?"

"Milady… I'd wait forever for Anna. In fact, I've been waiting for her all my life."

"I just hope everything turns out for the best. Will you go to Downton now?"

"Not yet. I'll be staying at the Grantham Arms for the time being."

"Alright then, I'll go talk to Anna to make sure she is ok. Maybe I'll see you around then?"

"Maybe. I certainly hope so."

* * *

When Mary stepped into the house again, she saw Anna standing in front of the window, probably watching Bates walk away. She wasn't crying, but she wasn't smiling either.

"Anna, I'm afraid I still don't know if I did the right thing… bringing him here."

"You did right milady. Thank you", Anna said, finally smiling, just barely.

"That means you've made up your mind? Bates didn't seem very sure…"

"I've made up my mind about something… but, I don't know about Mr Bates."

"I see… well I do think you should torture him a bit, but he really loves you, and if you love him too, then you shouldn't waste so much time. Believe me, I know one thing or two about lost chances."

"Are you talking about Mr Crawley?"

"Yes I am… but that doesn't matter, not now. So, what are you going to do?"

"I think I should speak to Mr. Molesley as soon as possible… but God knows that won't be an easy conversation."

"Come with me. He must be in the house. I'll give you a lift."

"Thank you milady… for everything."

* * *

Breaking off the engagement with Molesley was very hard. She couldn't bear to hurt him when he had been so nice to her, but at least she was hurting him now and not later, when it would've been worst.

"I'm sorry, Mr Molesley, but I need to be honest. I don't want to lie to you anymore."

"I understand. You never truly lied to me… just… when did he come back?"

"This is not about him."

"Of course it is about him! Everything about you is about him."

"Well, you are right. It is about him, but it doesn't mean I'll go back to him, and that is the truth."

"Well… I guess this is it then. I think it is safe to say I'll be leaving Downton now."

"You don't have to."

"Yes, I do… with Mr Crawley away there's not much for me to do around here. I only stayed for you and now there's no point is there?"

"I guess not."

"If you'll excuse me, I'll go and present my resignation. I don't want to stay in this place one more minute."

"I'm truly sorry. You know that right? I'm really thankful for everything you did for me."

"I know… and I'm sorry too. I wish I could have been enough. Goodbye Anna"

"Goodbye"

* * *

The next day John was in the little room he had rented at the Grantham Arms. He got up early, but he hadn't had much sleep, how could he sleep knowing that his faith was to be decided? He was finishing dressing when he heard a knock at the door. He thought it was strange but not as strange as who was in the other side.

"Milord?"

"Hello Bates, Mary told me you were here. I hope you don't mind. Can I come in?"

"Of course."

The room was small, but it had a little table and two chairs were they could sit comfortably to talk. At first, neither knew what to say. They had parted in such an awkward manner, but it was Robert who had come, so John waited for him to speak first.

"I'm sorry Bates, for the things I said when you left. I showed no faith in you."

"No Milord, you don't need to apologize. God knows you've showed me more faith than I deserve."

"Either way, I'm ashamed. I couldn't understand why you were leaving, but Carson said your wife had made threats about selling some story to the papers. He never said what."

"It was just some silly nonsense, but you don't have to worry about it now. I'm divorced." He was getting uncomfortable, so he decided to change the subject before Robert could ask more questions. "What's the news from Downton?"

"Matthew… he is missing. I know it's too early to lose hope, but if I'm honest Bates, I don't think I could bear it. Losing Patrick was bad enough, but now the thought of Matthew gone… I loved him like a son. No, I love him. Let's stay in the present tense while we still can."

Having this conversation, Robert pouring out his heart, and Bates listening, was like a blast from the past. They realized they were still comfortable with each other and able to trust one another.

"So, will you come back with me and help me through the veil of shadow?"

"It's not what I expected Milord. I wouldn't like for a man to lose his job just because I'm back."

"The position is open at the moment. With Matthew away, Mr. Molesley has been carrying out the duties, but he resigned last night."

He didn't know, but Robert had just made Bates' heart beat faster. If Molesley had left, then, that meant Anna had made up her mind. He couldn't help but smile and when he spoke again, Robert thought he was happy about the possibility of coming back with him.

"Did he now?"

"Yes he did. Am I safe to say you will come back?"

"I'm sorry Milord, but I can't give you an answer right now. This is not why I came back. It's not just my decision."

"Why ever not?"

"You see Milord, I came back because of… well… Anna."

"Oh… I guess that explains Molesley leaving."

"Yes, probably, but that doesn't mean she will accept me. I need to know if she will- if we are to get married, if we are going to wait… Maybe she'll want to move to London… I don't know, but this time I would like to know her opinion first. The last time- I didn't wait and that almost gained me a smack", he said smiling as he remembered the moment of their first kiss.

"I understand Bates, and I think you are right…. But know that you are both welcome to come back to work. If you get married, you can move to the cottage I offered you last time and Anna will remain in her position as long as she wants to. Mrs. Hughes has not found a replacement yet and I'm sure she would love Anna to come back. If you decide to wait, you can stay at the servants' quarters. Whatever you decide, I will only ask you to be discreet."

"You are too kind Milord. Thank you. I'm going to talk to her and let you know about our decision."

"I'll leave you then" Robert said standing up. "Wherever you go- the cottage, the servant's quarters, or London, I do hope she goes with you. You deserve it."

"Thank you Milord. I don't know if I deserve it, but I hope so too."


	6. Chapter 6

John was getting nervous. He had been waiting for two hours. He was confident after learning Molesley had left, but as the minutes passed, doubts began to haunt him. Finally she arrived and he couldn't help but smile. He was so very relieved.

"Hello."

"Hello."

"Someone seems very happy today."

"How could I not be? You are here."

"Yes I am, but… that doesn't mean… there's so much we need to talk about."

"I know, but there was a big chance I wouldn't see you again. The pure fact that you are here is what makes me happy, no matter what comes."

"And what do you want to come?"

"Anna, you know very well what I want."

"Please, tell me."

"I want to marry you. I want to grow old with you. I want to have a family with you. But it doesn't matter what I want … Only what you want."

"I don't know Mr. Bates… I once dreamt of having all of that with you, but now I'm not sure."

"But do you love me?"

"I've loved you from the first moment I saw you, but that doesn't mean it will work… I don't know if you are still the man I fell in love with."

"Oh Anna", he said, taking both her hands in his. "I can answer that right now. I am not that man. Of course I've changed, I am free now- free to love, free to feel happiness -but above all, I'm yours…. whether you take me or not, I'm yours."

She was resolved to make him suffer, and yet, she wrapped her arms around him.

"If… What would happen next?"

"I have to be honest with you, and I hope you won't get too mad. I've spoken to his Lordship."

"You did what?", she said, breaking their embrace just enough to see his face.

"Lady Mary told him I was here, so, he came to see me. He asked if I would come back…. Now that Molesley is gone." He smiled when he said the last part.

"And what did you say?"

"I said I couldn't make a decision, not without asking you first. I said that I wouldn't make the same mistake again."

"Thank you for that. This time around I'd give you that smack I owe you", she said finally smiling, but he wasn't smiling. He was thinking about that moment again, thinking that he might never get to kiss her again since she hadn't given him an answer. She noticed it, but she needed more information.

"What did he say?"

"He told me we can both have our jobs back if we want them. If we marry, we can have the cottage he offered back then. If we don't marry, we can go back to the servant quarters if we wish. I also told him that you may not want me there. If that's the case, then I'll leave and you can go back to work and that… well… maybe you don't want your job back; maybe you would like us to go somewhere else. I don't know… I wouldn't speak for you."

"I see… you are not the same man after all… And maybe it's not such a bad thing", she said smiling again. This time he brought his hand to her cheek.

"Anna, you are killing me here. I don't mean to push, but I need an answer." She looked down and he continued. "If I ask you now, would you…."

"No… please don't ask."

"I see", he said taking his hand away, but she caught it and joined it to hers.

"Not yet I mean… it wouldn't be right; not so soon after I broke my engagement."

"So… this means?"

"This means we shall take our jobs back- First me, then you. I don't want O'Brien talking. Only Lady Mary and His Lordship will know, and a bit later on, we shall tell Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes."

"Tell them what?"

"That we are officially walking out together. That's as much as you will get from me at the moment."

"Oh Anna, that's enough for me… I mean for now, I still want to marry you."

"And you will have your chance to ask me, but later on. My family was coming to my wedding. I haven't told them not to come, so, you may want to talk to my father while he is here."

"I will… thank you Anna, for giving me another chance. I know I don't deserve you."

"Well, that's for me to decide, isn't it? ... and that's what I'll do. You'll have your chance to show me."

"And I will, I will show you", he said hugging her again. "Anna, please… may I?", he said almost whispering to her ear.

"Yes… you may, Mr. Bates."

Just before he kissed her, he spoke again. "And will you ever call me John?"

"We'll see… Not now. For now, just kiss me… Please."

And kiss her he did


	7. Chapter 7

**In this chapter, you will notice that the timing is wrong. The Spanish flu struck few years later, but for the sake of this story, let's pretend it happened sooner.**

Months later, their relationship hadn't progressed as much as John had hoped it would, but at least it was back to the stage where they had left it. As Anna had thought, the servants took a lot of energy gossiping about them at the beginning, but seeing nothing had changed, they talking had stopped. They hadn't even talked to Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes as Anna had promised that they would at some point. John understood Anna was still trying to make him suffer, but he was losing his patience.

One night, after almost a week without spending time alone with her –with Miss Swire, Mr. Carson and Her Ladyship ill - they hadn't had the chance to see each other. He walked out to the courtyard and found her sitting on a crate.

"I thought you wouldn't come".

"If I'm honest, I'm not feeling well", he said taking a sit next to her.

"Oh Mr. Bates, are you alright? Maybe you should go to bed now."

"It doesn't matter if I can spend a few minutes with you", he said taking her hand in his. "Have you talked to Mrs. Hughes about changing your half day off?"

"No I haven't. I don't think I should with everyone ill."

"I see", he said taking his hand from hers.

"What?... Mr. Bates…"

"John, my name is John", he said looking straight ahead.

"I know but… I'm not…"

"You're not ready. I know you're not ready to call me John, you're not ready to talk to Mrs. Hughes, you're not ready to make an effort to spend more time with me, you're not ready to let me try… I understand".

"Mr. Bates, you are being unfair", she snapped, standing up in front of him.

"Am I?" He took both her hands in his. "I just want to be with you".

"I know… but it's not that easy".

"And that's what breaks my heart… It should be easy. Loving you is the easiest thing in the world. I wish I hadn't made it so hard for you to love me." He stood up, released her hands and started walking back to the house.

"Mr. Bates…"

"I'm sorry Anna; I'm really not feeling well."

And with that, he left her. She stayed out longer thinking. He was right, it should be easy, but he was wrong too. The difficult part wasn't loving him. That was natural for her. The hard part was to accept that love again. She had to make up her mind. He said he'd wait, but she wasn't sure how much longer he could take. Still, she wasn't ready. Not just yet.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so much to everyone who read this story, and specially my lovely editor as always. Already working in a few more things, hope i'll be posting soon :)**

* * *

The next morning, Anna walked to the servant's hall to have breakfast. Just as she was coming in, she realized Mr. Bates wasn't there, which was very odd, since he was always the first one up. Mrs. Hughes was coming from the male quarters when she saw Anna and asked her to join her in her pantry.

"Is everything alright Mrs. Hughes?"

"I'm afraid not Anna, this flu has stricken again. It's Mr. Bates. Doctor Clarkson is with him now."

Mr. Bates was ill? Anna couldn't believe it. She had just seen him the night before. He did mention he wasn't feeling alright but… and then the enormity of the situation dawned on her, this was a tricky disease… and to just think about the last conversation they had. No, she couldn't even think about that, she had to be with him.

Mrs. Hughes understood, but still Anna had to work. Every free moment she had, she spent it by his side. A week later, he appeared to be better, but still was sleeping most of the time and Anna hadn't been able to talk to him. One morning he woke up, but Anna wasn't there, only Mrs. Hughes.

* * *

"Are you feeling better Mr. Bates?"

"Yes, thank you… What does Doctor Clarkson say?"

"That you've been through the worst. You are out of danger and if you keep getting better, you might stand up tomorrow… You know… she's been here with you every day. If she can spare a moment out of work, she comes to you…"

"Has she? Can I ask you a favour? Please don't let me be alone with her."

"What? I thought…"

"It's just… we had a disagreement before I got ill and… I don't want her to see me like this and say something she's not ready for. If you are here she won't."

"Only if you're sure that's what you want."

"It is. Thank you."

* * *

That night she went to visit him, as always. Mrs. Hughes was there, and as always, he was sleeping, although this time he was actually pretending. He wasn't ready to face her yet. After a while, Mrs. Hughes spoke again.

"Anna, you better go to sleep, it's getting late."

"I know but… oh Mrs. Hughes! Wasn't he supposed to be better? Why is he always sleeping?"

"He is feeling better. Just wait girl, maybe tomorrow you'll be able to talk to him."

"I know you're right but I can't help feeling scared."

"Don't worry, now go to bed Anna."

Anna stood up, but instead of walking to the door she moved closer to him. She took his hand in hers and bent forward to talk softly into his ear.

"Please, Mr. Bates, get better, for me. I need you. You left me once. Please don't do that again. What about the hotel? And our children? I love you… I'm ready John."

She then walked out the room.

After Anna had gone, Mrs. Hughes remained silent as John finally opened his eyes.

"Mrs. Hughes… did you…"

"She wasn't trying not to be heard was she?"

"I suppose not… I thought she wouldn't, not in front of you."

"Those were the words you were afraid of? Well, she sounded very sure to me." After a moment of silence, she continued. "Tomorrow is her half day off. You won't be able to hide from her then."

John didn't respond, so Mrs. Hughes decided not to push. She wished him goodnight and left him alone with his thoughts.

* * *

Next morning at breakfast, Anna asked after Mr. Bates like every morning, expecting to hear the same thing, but she was surprised to hear the news from Mrs. Hughes.

"He's quite better today. Dr. Clarkson gave him permission to get out of bed, and advised him to take a walk later."

Anna had to hide her huge smile behind her cup of tea. The rest didn't notice, but she couldn't fool Mrs. Hughes.

Later, when she had finished her duties for the day, Anna made a visit to Mr. Bates hoping to finally talk to him. She had the afternoon free and hoped he was fully awake. Before she made it to the male quarters, she came upon the housekeeper.

"Anna, are you done for the day?"

"Yes Mrs. Hughes, I'm just on my way to see Mr. Bates."

"I'm sorry, but he's not in his room. He went out to take a walk like Dr. Clarkson advised him."

"Oh… I see…"

"Are you alright Anna?"

"I'm sorry, it's just…I was hoping I could finally talk to him today."

"Why don't you go and find him?"

"I don't know Mrs. Hughes, maybe he's avoiding me."

"Nonsense. It's your day off. You can look for him. He can't be too far away; he's probably by the lake."

Anna though about it for a moment. She was convinced he didn't want to see her. He knew it was her half day off and he could've waited for her, instead he left. But on the other hand, she wanted to see him. For once, she would put herself first, so she went looking for him and found him by the lake, just like Mrs. Hughes had predicted.

"There you are."

"Anna."

Her name sounded so sweet on his lips. She just wanted to rush to his side and hold him, but she still wasn't sure if he'd like that.

"Oh, Mr. Bates, I'm so glad to see you feeling better. For a moment I thought…" She had to stop talking or else she would cry. "And then today, I went to see you and you weren't there… I'm afraid you might be avoiding me."

"If I had been trying to avoid you, would I have asked Mrs. Hughes to tell you where I'd be?"

"You… you told her? You wanted me to come here?"

"I did, yes."

"Then why wouldn't you wait for me?"

"I didn't want to have this conversation in the house… Listen Anna, I'm sorry…"

"No, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have pushed you away."

"Anna, I understand, I… I said I would wait, and I will. I don't know what happened to me that night. You waited for so long; I should do the same, no matter how long it takes."

"But that's the thing, you see… I don't want to wait anymore…"

"What?"

"These past few days have been the worst in my life. When you left, that was hard, but at least I knew you were all right. Just the thought of losing you forever without you knowing how much I love you, without promising myself to you… I wouldn't be able to do that." She said walking towards him until she was right in front of him.

"Anna, are you trying to tell me you… should I…?"

"Yes John."

"Oh Anna!" He instantly wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. After a moment he stepped back, holding her hands in his. She was expecting a kiss but instead he started kneeling down.

"You don't have to do that."

"Yes I have to. From now on we do things the right way. No more secrets, no more games. If I need to say something to you I will, and I'll expect the same from you." He stopped for a moment to retrieve a ring from his jacket before continuing. "Anna, I love you. More than you can even begin to imagine, and I can't wait for the rest of my life to start if you will be in it. If you say yes to what I'm about to ask, I will never understand but I will spend every day making sure you won't regret it. Anna Mae Smith, my love, will you marry me?"

"Oh John, you have a ring with you?" She said with tears of joy running down her face while he placed the piece of jewelry on her finger.

"I've carried this with me every day since I came back. But you haven't answered my question."

"Do I really have to? Don't you know there's nothing I want more? Don't you know how much I love you?... That's a yes by the way."

He couldn't hold his smile while he got up, taking her face in his hands while her hands rested on his chest.

"You will?"

"Of course I will Mr. Ba… John." She corrected herself with a sweet laugh.

"Good, because I'm going to kiss you now."

"I wouldn't expect less of you."

* * *

Later they were walking hand in hand back to the house, their smiles speaking volumes until Anna broke the silence.

"When you left all those years ago… and you asked me to be happy? Do you remember?"

"I remember that…", he said looking to the ground, losing his smile for the first time in hours.

"Just so you know, I am glad that I'm finally doing that for you… being happy, I mean."

"Me too Anna, for the first time in my life, I can say without a doubt that I am happy."

"Thank god!" She said laughing.

"Yes, thank god… and you."


End file.
